Second Guessing

We follow our heart…or so it seems.

One day we realize we made a mistake . . . Or did we?

I have always struggled with decisions. I have always struggled with fear. Over a lifetime, I’ve learned when I need to push through something and when I need to walk away. Very imperfectly I might add.

It always comes back to this one phrase I learned from an amazing woman.

Who am I and what do I want?

There was a time I really struggled with that. At the time, I lived with “thy will, not mine, be done.” So with help from another good friend, I did an experiment. I felt very guided to walk away from a relationship. It felt right and I felt guided. I then asked myself, deep down, what do I want? It matched. There was/is no separation.

Following our heart, our bliss, matches our path and what we came here to do.  Sometimes, however, we hit the fear bug and we let fear be our guide.  It separates us from our heart so we are not living our best lives or contributing in a way that serves us, serves all. For when we do what’s right for us, it opens the door for others to create their best life.

So when we know what we want, what comes from our heart, it’s important to remember this and push through any fear that comes up. A wise man once told me, “Your only requirement is to show up.”  That has helped me move through so much fear! It was my daily mantra when I started teaching again.

A little background. I graduated from college with a teaching degree and as I left the campus, I vowed “I will never teach again.” This was true for 10 years. When I jumped back in, the daily mantra helped me just show up every day. Teaching has become one of the greatest highlights of my life.

Other times we may decide something and realize later it is not who we are and what we want. Maybe it was and it no longer is. Or maybe we want to put our attention elsewhere for now.   Many times we do not know who we are until we first experience who we are not. Exploring, being curious, trying new things helps us gain clarity, open the door to new opportunities, ideas. You can’t do it wrong.

There was a trip coming up that I dreaded. It was going to be with a small group of women, gifting each other with our services. Groups scare me and I dreaded the trip. Staying in the comfort of my home was more appealing. But I knew enough about myself to know that this was good for me (what I want deep down) and fear was taking over. So I pushed through and had an amazing and enightening time.

If struggling, ask “What would love do now?” We can’t always see the big picture but we can connect with our heart, and trust it’s guide. Are we coming from a place of fear or love? Sometimes, taking no action is the action needed. Continue to follow your heart and the way will become clear.

As we get to know ourselves more and more, the way becomes more clear in these moments.

About the author

Kim Hiles (Dancing Feather) was born in Pennsylvania in the 1960s. Her mother was from Germany and met her father while stationed there. The family moved several times before settling in a town called Millis, Massachusetts.

Kim developed severe anxiety and depression as a child and struggled to find her way. Growing up, Kim was told by her grandmother that she wrote beautiful letters and had a way with words. Later in life, this memory would be a catalyst for sitting down and writing her memoir.

Continuing to say yes to life, Kim talks about her struggles of addiction, anxiety, depression and relationship issues, to name a few. She considers it her life mission to help empower others and uses her memoir as a way to offer guidance in living a more authentic life, following your dreams.

She has overcome much adversity and enjoys walking with others as they find their way. Kim has also co-written a young adult fantasy with her husband Will, called Little Wonders. Their pen name is K.W. Hiles.

Kim is a successful Educator, Social and Emotional Learning Specialist, Behavior Specialist, Mediator (Restorative Practices), 3rd degree Reiki Practitioner, and blogs regularly. In addition Kim offers online classes at Shamanic Passages Institute

Kim is considered highly sensitive and intuitive. Utilizing her gifts, her mission is to channel inspiration and healing and help spread some light. Empowering others to create the life of their dreams is the ultimate goal.

Kim is happily married (21+ years) and lives with her husband, son and their animal companions.

"I had a teacher who told us to go out that week and see how many Mercedes cars we noticed. When I came back I told her I had seen a lot! She asked me if I had seen any junk cars. I told her I didn’t remember seeing any. The next week she reversed it and asked us to go out and see how many junk cars we noticed. Of course we noticed a lot but didn’t remember seeing any Mercedes cars. Where is your focus? Is it on the problem or on the solution and more importantly, where would you like it to be?" -- Kim Hiles

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