The Mirror Factor explained

The first time I experienced the mirror factor, was over 25 years ago. In doing an activity on forgiveness and what I was hurt by, and writing it all out, I realized that I had done something similar to others.

I was blown away. I realized that in seeing myself in others, in some way, I was able to forgive them and myself at the same time.

Forgiveness is the ultimate freedom. It frees up energy that can best be used in creating the life of our dreams. It allows space for love which is our true essence. Anger and resentment takes its toll on our body and life so it’s a win-win to forgive.

Over the years I started noticing even more about the mirror effect in relationships. It wasn’t just about seeing myself in others. It was a reflection of how I felt about myself or what I deserved. It reflected how I saw the world and what I expected others to do based on my beliefs/assumptions. What awesome feedback it gave me… this reflection.

I played around with this energy exchange. As I changed my beliefs or affirmed my worth, I saw a change in others and how I was treated. In addition, when I focused my attention elsewhere (i.e. “there is beauty everywhere”) as opposed to all that was wrong, I saw much more of that.

Who changed?

Things change when we change. Are there outdated beliefs, stories, resentments that are holding you back? Where is your focus? Where do you want it to be?

About the author

Kim Hiles (Dancing Feather) was born in Pennsylvania in the 1960s. Her mother was from Germany and met her father while stationed there. The family moved several times before settling in a town called Millis, Massachusetts.

Kim developed severe anxiety and depression as a child and struggled to find her way. Growing up, Kim was told by her grandmother that she wrote beautiful letters and had a way with words. Later in life, this memory would be a catalyst for sitting down and writing her memoir.

Continuing to say yes to life, Kim talks about her struggles of addiction, anxiety, depression and relationship issues, to name a few. She considers it her life mission to help empower others and uses her memoir as a way to offer guidance in living a more authentic life, following your dreams.

She has overcome much adversity and enjoys walking with others as they find their way. Kim has also co-written a young adult fantasy with her husband Will, called Little Wonders. Their pen name is K.W. Hiles.

Kim is a successful Educator, Social and Emotional Learning Specialist, Behavior Specialist, Mediator (Restorative Practices), 3rd degree Reiki Practitioner, and blogs regularly. In addition Kim offers online classes at Shamanic Passages Institute

Kim is considered highly sensitive and intuitive. Utilizing her gifts, her mission is to channel inspiration and healing and help spread some light. Empowering others to create the life of their dreams is the ultimate goal.

Kim is happily married (21+ years) and lives with her husband, son and their animal companions.

"I had a teacher who told us to go out that week and see how many Mercedes cars we noticed. When I came back I told her I had seen a lot! She asked me if I had seen any junk cars. I told her I didn’t remember seeing any. The next week she reversed it and asked us to go out and see how many junk cars we noticed. Of course we noticed a lot but didn’t remember seeing any Mercedes cars. Where is your focus? Is it on the problem or on the solution and more importantly, where would you like it to be?" -- Kim Hiles

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