Pandemic Ponderings

When you feel unlovable it hits you like a sledge hammer knocking you to the ground. You instantly connect and remember every time you felt rejected, abandoned, left behind, ignored. You also remembered the times you pushed people away as if the idea of loving you was preposterous or just incredibly uncomfortable. Thus begins the dark tale…

The rollercoaster journey is life, I suppose. One minute you are riding the wave, you feel on top of the world, experiencing a natural high. Synchronicities take place, connections, ideas, discoveries. It can even be as simple as lying on the grass, stargazing with your partner or a friend. 

Bliss. Magic.

It was in the seventies. I was lying on the grass with a friend, gazing up at the starry night, looking for shooting stars. I could hear our families by the firepit at our camp site. I remember the thought clearly. 

“I wish this could last forever.”  

I knew the end of summer was near and I wanted to hang on to the feeling, under the stars.

Yet everything passes, even the uncomfortable feelings that come up on occasion. Noticing, not judging, has been key.

During these challenging times, many of us will face our shadow, yet again. We may feel sleepy, weepy or depressed. We may become anxious, obsessed, worried, afraid. At times we may feel energized, driven, creative, inspired. We may feel all of it, none of it.

No matter what you are feeling, acceptance without judgement has brought a sense of peace, surrender.

Like the glorious days of summer, this too shall pass. Hang in there. 

About the author

Kim Hiles (Dancing Feather) was born in Pennsylvania in the 1960s. Her mother was from Germany and met her father while stationed there. The family moved several times before settling in a town called Millis, Massachusetts.

Kim developed severe anxiety and depression as a child and struggled to find her way. Growing up, Kim was told by her grandmother that she wrote beautiful letters and had a way with words. Later in life, this memory would be a catalyst for sitting down and writing her memoir.

Continuing to say yes to life, Kim talks about her struggles of addiction, anxiety, depression and relationship issues, to name a few. She considers it her life mission to help empower others and uses her memoir as a way to offer guidance in living a more authentic life, following your dreams.

She has overcome much adversity and enjoys walking with others as they find their way. Kim has also co-written a young adult fantasy with her husband Will, called Little Wonders. Their pen name is K.W. Hiles.

Kim is a successful Educator, Social and Emotional Learning Specialist, Behavior Specialist, Mediator (Restorative Practices), 3rd degree Reiki Practitioner, and blogs regularly. In addition Kim offers online classes at Shamanic Passages Institute

Kim is considered highly sensitive and intuitive. Utilizing her gifts, her mission is to channel inspiration and healing and help spread some light. Empowering others to create the life of their dreams is the ultimate goal.

Kim is happily married (21+ years) and lives with her husband, son and their animal companions.

"I had a teacher who told us to go out that week and see how many Mercedes cars we noticed. When I came back I told her I had seen a lot! She asked me if I had seen any junk cars. I told her I didn’t remember seeing any. The next week she reversed it and asked us to go out and see how many junk cars we noticed. Of course we noticed a lot but didn’t remember seeing any Mercedes cars. Where is your focus? Is it on the problem or on the solution and more importantly, where would you like it to be?" -- Kim Hiles

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