Releasing Shame

I have talked often about focusing on what we want, shifting perspective, focusing on all that is good in our life! I have talked often about when we are in the dumps, changing our perspective can be as easy as snapping our finger. I have talked often about how we can get into a rut, but when we look back at our thoughts and what we have been thinking about, it is clear WHY we are in that rut. Affirmations, visualizations, imagining what we want, pretending we already have it, focusing on a solution can move mountains!! For me, it has been a game changer especially in dealing with depression and manifesting my dreams.

However, the feelings of unworthiness, the feelings of deep seeded beliefs that tell you there is something seriously wrong with you, and that you don’t deserve happiness, can linger long after all of the serious work has been done. Deep seeded beliefs can stall any serious work we do because deep down there is a belief within that tells us we are unworthy and don’t deserve it.

That is when I knew I must take action. If you have children, you might relate to this. When my son was a toddler, he used to hit a lot. I would get upset, tell him not to do it but of course it continued. It wasn’t until I came up with a plan, an action every time he hit, that he started to learn what to do instead. We have to teach and take action.

In my journey, I have been guided to many healing modalities and I have learned a lot of tools along the way. One day the word SHAME popped up on my radar and I realized THIS was the feeling I was continuing to struggle with and had been struggling with for as long as I could remember. I had it when I was little and felt bad. I had it as I grew up and felt there was something wrong with me. I had it as an adult when I added more experiences that caused great shame. I had buckets full of it.

I did some research and found a guided meditation online by Michelle Chalfant (A guided meditation and exercise for releasing shame) and started to do the meditation any time I recognized it was shame holding me back. For me, the feelings of release were strong. I sensed a lightness in my load and was thrilled I had another tool. It was very powerful for me and reminded me of similar work I have done in the past.

I am grateful today that the awareness of shame came up. Sometimes we don’t really know what is holding us back, the beliefs inside that keep us stuck. Awareness, afterall, is the first step.

About the author

Kim Hiles (Dancing Feather) was born in Pennsylvania in the 1960s. Her mother was from Germany and met her father while stationed there. The family moved several times before settling in a town called Millis, Massachusetts.

Kim developed severe anxiety and depression as a child and struggled to find her way. Growing up, Kim was told by her grandmother that she wrote beautiful letters and had a way with words. Later in life, this memory would be a catalyst for sitting down and writing her memoir.

Continuing to say yes to life, Kim talks about her struggles of addiction, anxiety, depression and relationship issues, to name a few. She considers it her life mission to help empower others and uses her memoir as a way to offer guidance in living a more authentic life, following your dreams.

She has overcome much adversity and enjoys walking with others as they find their way. Kim has also co-written a young adult fantasy with her husband Will, called Little Wonders. Their pen name is K.W. Hiles.

Kim is a successful Educator, Social and Emotional Learning Specialist, Behavior Specialist, Mediator (Restorative Practices), 3rd degree Reiki Practitioner, and blogs regularly. In addition Kim offers online classes at Shamanic Passages Institute

Kim is considered highly sensitive and intuitive. Utilizing her gifts, her mission is to channel inspiration and healing and help spread some light. Empowering others to create the life of their dreams is the ultimate goal.

Kim is happily married (21+ years) and lives with her husband, son and their animal companions.

"I had a teacher who told us to go out that week and see how many Mercedes cars we noticed. When I came back I told her I had seen a lot! She asked me if I had seen any junk cars. I told her I didn’t remember seeing any. The next week she reversed it and asked us to go out and see how many junk cars we noticed. Of course we noticed a lot but didn’t remember seeing any Mercedes cars. Where is your focus? Is it on the problem or on the solution and more importantly, where would you like it to be?" -- Kim Hiles

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