The sky is the limit – let go of victimhood!

Some people just really want the dramatic story to continue. I mean I’ve been guilty of it! Like how many more stories can I add to the “this happened to me” saga?

It’s real. 

Things do happen.

But in every moment, we have a choice to change our perspective, our beliefs, our truth, our reality and create a new story. 

Sometimes it’s as simple as saying “ENOUGH” at the top of your lungs. Notice, describe, yell to the universe then use your anger and declare that this is my new truth!!

I did this when I moved away from OCD and battled it once and for all.  When an obsessive ritual came up I declared, “I see you but I don’t do that anymore.”  Not easy, sure, but doable with perseverance.  Anyone battling mental illness will tell you the fight is real. But you can’t keep doing, thinking, feeling the same things and expect anything to change. 

Sometimes seeking the right kind of help is the first step. But continuing to talk about your labels, your struggles, your pattern will most likely keep you right there, the perpetual victim.

Declare “enough” today.  Make a change. Take one small step. These are some small steps I have taken throughout my life:

  1. Seek help but make sure its the right kind of help for you. If it feels wrong, seek different help.
  2. Notice all that you have, even if it starts with one small thing, like warm clothes for the day. Focus on that, feel gratitude for it, and you may notice more things you feel grateful for. Continue daily and you may notice a shift in perspective.
  3. See that finger pointing? Turn it inward and ask tough questions. Everyone is a mirror.  Things you can ask are what is this bringing up for me? What am I not doing? What do I need to heal? How can I fulfill myself and fill up my cup?
  4. What do I love? Do it!
  5. Go within, spend time in nature.
  6. Forgive often! We are not perfect either. By not forgiving, I am only hurting myself.
  7. We can’t necessarily see the big picture! Someday it may be revealed. In the meantime, trust the process of your life.
  8. Do a body scan. In meditation, slowly focus on all parts of your body one part at a time and observe what comes up. Grieve, if needed, and allow it to flow down stream when you are ready. Then pour love and light into your body and love it thoroughly. 
  9. Do something for someone else.
  10. Remember, you are the master of your ship and can achieve anything.  If you feel like you can’t then you are listening to old tapes, conditionings. Declare that you are the love of your life and are capable, strong, courageous, powerful, and quite Awesome!  Declare your new truth. Create the new story.

About the author

Kim Hiles (Dancing Feather) was born in Pennsylvania in the 1960s. Her mother was from Germany and met her father while stationed there. The family moved several times before settling in a town called Millis, Massachusetts.

Kim developed severe anxiety and depression as a child and struggled to find her way. Growing up, Kim was told by her grandmother that she wrote beautiful letters and had a way with words. Later in life, this memory would be a catalyst for sitting down and writing her memoir.

Continuing to say yes to life, Kim talks about her struggles of addiction, anxiety, depression and relationship issues, to name a few. She considers it her life mission to help empower others and uses her memoir as a way to offer guidance in living a more authentic life, following your dreams.

She has overcome much adversity and enjoys walking with others as they find their way. Kim has also co-written a young adult fantasy with her husband Will, called Little Wonders. Their pen name is K.W. Hiles.

Kim is a successful Educator, Social and Emotional Learning Specialist, Behavior Specialist, Mediator (Restorative Practices), 3rd degree Reiki Practitioner, and blogs regularly. In addition Kim offers online classes at Shamanic Passages Institute

Kim is considered highly sensitive and intuitive. Utilizing her gifts, her mission is to channel inspiration and healing and help spread some light. Empowering others to create the life of their dreams is the ultimate goal.

Kim is happily married (21+ years) and lives with her husband, son and their animal companions.

"I had a teacher who told us to go out that week and see how many Mercedes cars we noticed. When I came back I told her I had seen a lot! She asked me if I had seen any junk cars. I told her I didn’t remember seeing any. The next week she reversed it and asked us to go out and see how many junk cars we noticed. Of course we noticed a lot but didn’t remember seeing any Mercedes cars. Where is your focus? Is it on the problem or on the solution and more importantly, where would you like it to be?" -- Kim Hiles

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