It’s not immaculate and I’m ok with that!

It was an amazing summer full of backyard relaxation and work in the yard. It was a beautiful balance, a way to recharge from a hectic school year.

School is now back and on another blistering hot Saturday morning, I was about to set out for my morning jog. Neighbors were doing a neighborhood project outside my home and we got to talking. The discussion turned to the prior owners of my house and how the house looked. Maybe 3 times this neighbor told me that the prior owners kept the house immaculate. . . the yard was immaculate!

I eventually excused myself and went for my jog. What went through my mind was that this neighbor was basically telling me my house looked like shit even after the hours and hours of work I put into it regularly.

The trigger being I am not good enough.

This happens to us all. Someone says something that triggers our own stuff whether that is what the person meant or not. Our triggers give us clues of what else within needs healing.

My first feeling was one of utter shock at them saying this to me. I felt the judgment loud and clear.

My second feeling was anger. I actually turned around from my jog so I could go back and tell them that we do our best. . . but I thought twice about that and continued on my way.

My third feeling was sadness. It brought up those feelings of unworthiness. Those words felt like a slap in the face because of the big love and care I put into this home.

My final feeling was one of acknowledgment. I looked around and realized this person was right! Wow! It’s true. My yard is not immaculate. . . but I’m actually ok with that. This person only mirrored some thoughts I had about my front yard and some things I wanted to do and my own judgements I had about it. It actually motivated me.

That moment lead me to my favorite affirmation which states: I am doing my best and my best is enough. That made me smile and love on myself a bit.

About the author

Kim Hiles (Dancing Feather) was born in Pennsylvania in the 1960s. Her mother was from Germany and met her father while stationed there. The family moved several times before settling in a town called Millis, Massachusetts.

Kim developed severe anxiety and depression as a child and struggled to find her way. Growing up, Kim was told by her grandmother that she wrote beautiful letters and had a way with words. Later in life, this memory would be a catalyst for sitting down and writing her memoir.

Continuing to say yes to life, Kim talks about her struggles of addiction, anxiety, depression and relationship issues, to name a few. She considers it her life mission to help empower others and uses her memoir as a way to offer guidance in living a more authentic life, following your dreams.

She has overcome much adversity and enjoys walking with others as they find their way. Kim has also co-written a young adult fantasy with her husband Will, called Little Wonders. Their pen name is K.W. Hiles.

Kim is a successful Educator, Social and Emotional Learning Specialist, Behavior Specialist, Mediator (Restorative Practices), 3rd degree Reiki Practitioner, and blogs regularly. In addition Kim offers online classes at Shamanic Passages Institute

Kim is considered highly sensitive and intuitive. Utilizing her gifts, her mission is to channel inspiration and healing and help spread some light. Empowering others to create the life of their dreams is the ultimate goal.

Kim is happily married (21+ years) and lives with her husband, son and their animal companions.

"I had a teacher who told us to go out that week and see how many Mercedes cars we noticed. When I came back I told her I had seen a lot! She asked me if I had seen any junk cars. I told her I didn’t remember seeing any. The next week she reversed it and asked us to go out and see how many junk cars we noticed. Of course we noticed a lot but didn’t remember seeing any Mercedes cars. Where is your focus? Is it on the problem or on the solution and more importantly, where would you like it to be?" -- Kim Hiles

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