This dread: Is it fear (I must push through) or just not who I am?

This subject came up recently. It is a topic that I have struggled with all of my life and I continue to explore to this day. Many times we find ourselves in situations in which we wonder what decision to make. Is it fear…or just not who I am?

In my life I have run, when I should have stayed. I have stayed because of the fear of trying something new.

I believe this gets easier when we figure out this most important question.

Who am I and what do I want.

I will give a couple of examples.

1. When I had fear or nerves take over at work, I chose to push through the fear because I really loved my work and wanted to grow. I always felt amazing after.

2. I once volunteered at this horse farm. I thought it would be great and on path because it was working with children and horses. But I got this dread about going. In exploring that further I realized that I felt bad for the horses. I did not get the impression they were happy at all. I gave myself permission to let it go. What came to me was to trust myself.

3. I once dreaded going on this trip with a group of people. I was not sure where it came from but I was feeling in a funk over it. In exploring further, I realized it would be good for me so I pushed through the angst and had an experience I will never forget.

In trying to come up with the answer it is important to trust yourself. But it is equally important to know yourself and know what you want. When in doubt, I close my eyes and picture the two paths of my inquiry. I turn my brain off and connect with my greater self. I then see which way my body goes and I trust it.

If I do decide to push through my fear, I utilize a trick Gerry Starnes (author, mentor) once taught me. I turn my fear into excitement. The body doesn’t know the difference.

About the author

Kim Hiles (Dancing Feather) was born in Pennsylvania in the 1960s. Her mother was from Germany and met her father while stationed there. The family moved several times before settling in a town called Millis, Massachusetts.

Kim developed severe anxiety and depression as a child and struggled to find her way. Growing up, Kim was told by her grandmother that she wrote beautiful letters and had a way with words. Later in life, this memory would be a catalyst for sitting down and writing her memoir.

Continuing to say yes to life, Kim talks about her struggles of addiction, anxiety, depression and relationship issues, to name a few. She considers it her life mission to help empower others and uses her memoir as a way to offer guidance in living a more authentic life, following your dreams.

She has overcome much adversity and enjoys walking with others as they find their way. Kim has also co-written a young adult fantasy with her husband Will, called Little Wonders. Their pen name is K.W. Hiles.

Kim is a successful Educator, Social and Emotional Learning Specialist, Behavior Specialist, Mediator (Restorative Practices), 3rd degree Reiki Practitioner, and blogs regularly. In addition Kim offers online classes at Shamanic Passages Institute

Kim is considered highly sensitive and intuitive. Utilizing her gifts, her mission is to channel inspiration and healing and help spread some light. Empowering others to create the life of their dreams is the ultimate goal.

Kim is happily married (21+ years) and lives with her husband, son and their animal companions.

"I had a teacher who told us to go out that week and see how many Mercedes cars we noticed. When I came back I told her I had seen a lot! She asked me if I had seen any junk cars. I told her I didn’t remember seeing any. The next week she reversed it and asked us to go out and see how many junk cars we noticed. Of course we noticed a lot but didn’t remember seeing any Mercedes cars. Where is your focus? Is it on the problem or on the solution and more importantly, where would you like it to be?" -- Kim Hiles

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