Us vs. Them

The us vs. them mentality just doesn’t work and it leaves us in a perpetual state of victimhood and duality. It is much harder, yet more empowering and rewarding, when we take our issues directly to the source of our discontent and have a crucial conversation with positive intent.

What positive intent means is this. Instead of going to someone full of rage and accusation, which keeps others on the defense and problems not solved, instead try approaching them with compassion. That means doing our work first. That means asking what this is bringing up for us. This is our stuff. Once we are honest with ourselves and we have more understanding, we are ready for a crucial conversation.

I will tell you what is easy. It is easy to sit behind the computer and blame and accuse others. It is easy to gossip. It is easy to spread rumors. It is easy to blame others for our discontent. It is easy to buy into everything we read that reaffirms the us vs. them mentality. Yet, it is also extremely disempowering and leaves us feeling more lost, scared and disconnected.

Take time today to open our hearts and see the good in all. The happiness this brings is indescribable.


About the author

Kim Hiles (Dancing Feather) was born in Pennsylvania in the 1960s. Her mother was from Germany and met her father while stationed there. The family moved several times before settling in a town called Millis, Massachusetts.

Kim developed severe anxiety and depression as a child and struggled to find her way. Growing up, Kim was told by her grandmother that she wrote beautiful letters and had a way with words. Later in life, this memory would be a catalyst for sitting down and writing her memoir.

Continuing to say yes to life, Kim talks about her struggles of addiction, anxiety, depression and relationship issues, to name a few. She considers it her life mission to help empower others and uses her memoir as a way to offer guidance in living a more authentic life, following your dreams.

She has overcome much adversity and enjoys walking with others as they find their way. Kim has also co-written a young adult fantasy with her husband Will, called Little Wonders. Their pen name is K.W. Hiles.

Kim is a successful Educator, Social and Emotional Learning Specialist, Behavior Specialist, Mediator (Restorative Practices), 3rd degree Reiki Practitioner, and blogs regularly. In addition Kim offers online classes at Shamanic Passages Institute

Kim is considered highly sensitive and intuitive. Utilizing her gifts, her mission is to channel inspiration and healing and help spread some light. Empowering others to create the life of their dreams is the ultimate goal.

Kim is happily married (21+ years) and lives with her husband, son and their animal companions.

"I had a teacher who told us to go out that week and see how many Mercedes cars we noticed. When I came back I told her I had seen a lot! She asked me if I had seen any junk cars. I told her I didn’t remember seeing any. The next week she reversed it and asked us to go out and see how many junk cars we noticed. Of course we noticed a lot but didn’t remember seeing any Mercedes cars. Where is your focus? Is it on the problem or on the solution and more importantly, where would you like it to be?" -- Kim Hiles

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