Keeping your cool

Composure is an important skill in parenting. It is important to model it and teach it to your child. If we can keep our cool in challenging times, we are modeling the same behavior in our children. Stress, lack of sleep and trigger thoughts are ingredients for aggression. Are you pampering and caring for yourself? Are you saying “yes” when you really want to say “no.” It is time to listen to yourself because not only does it benefit you, it benefits your children as well!

Stress reduction activities on a daily basis are extremely important. Some examples are practicing breathing or meditating together. Exercise is another ingredient. Putting our children on our “to do” list and making a point of spending quality, connection time with them is also important. Having routines, rituals and structures in place is another way to have less stress in our lives and the lives of our children. Trigger thoughts are thoughts we may say to ourselves when we are getting upset. These thoughts usually feed our anger and make the situation worse. We may say things like “everyone is out to get me,” “She is just trying to annoy me.” Affirmations or talking back to the trigger thoughts are helpful in reducing our anger. It works best when you change your idea about the situation and breathe at the same time. For instance taking deep breaths and breathing into your heart “I am strong” or “I am safe” or “I am enough” or “I like me” are all affirmations that can transform an angry moment into a teachable one. Model it and practice it with your child today!

About the author

Kim Hiles (Dancing Feather) was born in Pennsylvania in the 1960s. Her mother was from Germany and met her father while stationed there. The family moved several times before settling in a town called Millis, Massachusetts.

Kim developed severe anxiety and depression as a child and struggled to find her way. Growing up, Kim was told by her grandmother that she wrote beautiful letters and had a way with words. Later in life, this memory would be a catalyst for sitting down and writing her memoir.

Continuing to say yes to life, Kim talks about her struggles of addiction, anxiety, depression and relationship issues, to name a few. She considers it her life mission to help empower others and uses her memoir as a way to offer guidance in living a more authentic life, following your dreams.

She has overcome much adversity and enjoys walking with others as they find their way. Kim has also co-written a young adult fantasy with her husband Will, called Little Wonders. Their pen name is K.W. Hiles.

Kim is a successful Educator, Social and Emotional Learning Specialist, Behavior Specialist, Mediator (Restorative Practices), 3rd degree Reiki Practitioner, and blogs regularly. In addition Kim offers online classes at Shamanic Passages Institute

Kim is considered highly sensitive and intuitive. Utilizing her gifts, her mission is to channel inspiration and healing and help spread some light. Empowering others to create the life of their dreams is the ultimate goal.

Kim is happily married (21+ years) and lives with her husband, son and their animal companions.

"I had a teacher who told us to go out that week and see how many Mercedes cars we noticed. When I came back I told her I had seen a lot! She asked me if I had seen any junk cars. I told her I didn’t remember seeing any. The next week she reversed it and asked us to go out and see how many junk cars we noticed. Of course we noticed a lot but didn’t remember seeing any Mercedes cars. Where is your focus? Is it on the problem or on the solution and more importantly, where would you like it to be?" -- Kim Hiles

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